How Do You Do It All?

Since becoming more active on Instagram, and sharing pictures from our life--both as a mommy with four kids, and as a DIY-er (fixing up and decorating our home!), I've been asked this question over and over: how do you do it all? How are you keeping up with everything?

My first response would obviously be: I'm NOT doing it all. There's no such thing as a "super mom," and there are MANY things (many good things!) I'm not focusing on at this stage of my life. 

Secondly, we struggle with all the same sort of things that any other family with little kids would struggle with! We might do things a little differently, and we have multiple little kids (I'm pregnant with #5, and our oldest is 5!), but we still deal with crumbs on the floor, and temper tantrums, and toilet paper unrolled all over the bathroom floor. And little kids playing in the toilet. 

I should probably add ONE more thing: the things we do now, work for us at this stage in our life. When I'm breast-feeding, or throwing up in the midst of a difficult first trimester, or when the kids are sick, or when Matt worked afternoon shift, we obviously had to switch around the things we did. So what I'm going to say below has worked really well for us, right now, and it may just work for you, too. But it also may not! Here are some suggestions, some ideas--and I hope they're helpful.

1. Form good habits--both for Mom, AND kids.

This is so huge for us, that I wanted to break it into two categories. First, for me as the mother. Good habits would include waking up every morning between 4 and 5 (please don't stop reading now! this is what I DO, and you don't need to do it, remember?), and showering before the kids wake up. Along with putting on makeup in the mornings, I have done these things every single day since Rachel (my oldest) was a baby. I get up- I get a shower- I get dressed- I put on makeup. It's a routine I've established, that makes me feel ready for every single day. 

Other good habits would include starting the laundry right after breakfast, or starting school as soon as I start the laundry. Habits can be very difficult to form, but I've found that once they're in place, you just get used to doing the same things every day, and it's no longer hard.

Ok, now habits for the kids: every morning, the kids wake up between 6 and 7, but they need to stay in their rooms until 7 (this doesn't happen every morning, but it's a general rule). They'll often turn on their lamp and look at books. At 6:45 (or around there), the girls get dressed and make their bed. Then it's time to come out and sit at the table for breakfast. 

After breakfast, Rachel sweeps the kitchen floor, Jemima brings the laundry baskets to the top of the stairs, and Matthias dumps the bathroom trash can into the big kitchen one. They have each had these quick chores for a while now, and it's just part of what they do every morning. Breakfast over- do your chore (and it takes them only a couple minutes each!).

Now for the "keeping the house clean" habits. We really have one rule for this, and that is: before you leave a room, clean it up. That's it. Does it happen perfectly every time? Of course not, but it's what we're aiming for.

Same goes for the girls making their bed every morning. Does their bed look perfect? No, but one of my favorite "mom" sayings is: It doesn't have to be perfect, but you have to do your best. 

2. Keep it simple. 

As moms, in this crazy and busy world we live in, I think we have the tendency to say "yes" to way too much, and take on way more than we need to. I've found that excess (whether it be too many activities or too many toys), leads to chaos--especially when you're dealing with a household full of littles!

Here are three things we keep simple in this house...

Toys for the kids. I've talked about this before, but we have one basketful of blocks for our kids, and that's it when it comes to toys. They also have a basket full of puzzles, and a shelf for their coloring materials (stickers, markers, coloring books, etc.). I've never found that the kids are happier, when there is MORE for them to choose from, and more for them to play with. 

Shopping trips, or leaving the house. Besides church (and socializing with family and friends) on Sunday, we generally leave the house twice a week--for grocery shopping, and to go thrifting. I'm not involved in mom groups, or tons of "extra" activities. 

Meals. I'm not "huge" into cooking, even though we try to eat healthy food. I usually plan ahead what we're going to eat for each meal, and then prepare for that in the morning--whether that means putting some meat in the crockpot before breakfast, or starting lunch at a certain time so I make sure it's ready. 

3. Stay consistent. For us, that means the same nap time and bed times every day. I feel like this is a similar idea to the "good habits" one I mentioned above--we all get used to a certain routine, if we stick with it for long enough. Since my first was a baby, she slept for two hours every afternoon. Whenever another baby came along, they were added to that same sleep schedule, so now we have 4 kids doing either "quiet play" (for the two older ones, who don't nap anymore), or "nap time" every day, at the same time, for two hours. 

For Rachel and Jemima, they have several activities in their room that are ONLY for "quiet play" time, so they LOVE this time in the afternoon. They also love the chance to play uninterrupted from their younger siblings! 

(I should mention that these two hours are so amazing for me as the mom, to either rest and re-focus, or work on a painting project, paying the bills, and so on!).

At night, all the kids are in bed by 7:30. (We happen to get up early, which is why they go to sleep early!)

We generally do the same things every day, in the same order. Breakfast, then chores, then start laundry, then I read to the kids (Bible, science, and history), then Caroline takes a morning nap while I start school with the older kids. And it goes from there. 

Another area we try to stay consistent would be having the kids obey us, every time. One of the things we're working on is the kids sitting still while watching a movie or reading books together... and teaching our kids is way more important than the book or movie. It's hard to be consistent here, because obviously our tendency would be just keep pushing through, give the child what they want so they'll just BE QUIET so we can HEAR the MOVIE, but obviously that's not best for the child or the situation!

So this is what has been hugely helpful to us recently, and I hope it may be encouraging to some of you! 

Christmas House Tour

With Christmas less than 2 weeks away, our tree is lit and decorated, the presents are wrapped, and we are ready to start celebrating!

One of my favorite aspects of decorating is finding inexpensive ways to make our house look beautiful, so many of the items you see here were thrifted or from the Target dollar section.

 

I found a picture of an entryway bench that I loved, and I showed it to Matt! He built this adorable, sturdy bench in a few hours, and I stained and painted it (so that I could be somewhat helpful in this process!). It's so convenient being married to someone who's handy in the garage!

Now we come to our living and dining room area.

Presents wrapped and under the tree. This yea, we are only buying our kids a few presents each. It saves us time, money, stress, and wrapping paper! We've been reading through the Little House series, and I love how simple their Christmas celebration is. It's definitely inspiring.

View from our kitchen, into our dining room. One of these days, we may hang something on our walls!

Our master bedroom.

And lastly, our stairs. One rainy, dreary afternoon, while the kids were sleeping, I brought together a bunch of Christmas elements we had elsewhere around our house, and decorated our stairs. I had the stairs back to their usual function by the time the kids were awake!

I hope you enjoyed our Christmas house tour!

Merry Christmas!!

How to Create a Stylish Fall Wardrobe [when you don't have any money]

Remember that intriguing blog post I was going to write, about building a stylish fall wardrobe when you don't have any money?

I've written it and re-written it in my mind. I've completely scrapped the idea and gone for a broader "Frugal Living" sort of post, but I keep going back to this post. I said I was going to write it, so even though I don't have any new or grand ideas, I thought I'd share what I DO have.

I just don't want to downplay the fact that it's difficult to live "without money," whatever your situation is. And seriously, it can be hard to justify clothes-shopping when money is tight. After all, you could take that same $12 for a shirt and buy oats and beans and rice... Am I right?

Taking that into consideration, here are some clothes-wearing and shopping ideas for you!

First of all, go through the clothes you already own. Find the items that...

-fit you

-aren't pilled or stained or ripped

-you feel great in

and put those items in a "keep" pile. See, the easiest and least expensive way to create a wardrobe is to wear the items you already OWN!

It's a lot simpler to figure out what you need this season, when you have what you own sitting there in front of you.

Next step: figure out what you still need. I like to find items that I can use in multple outfits. 

When I went through my clothes, I found that the items I "needed" most were...

-a long sleeved gray shirt

-a long sleeved black shirt

-brown boots

The three main colors I wear in the fall/winter would be dark purple, gray, and black, and I already have a couple purple tops from summer that I can transition to fall/winter if I wear a black or gray sweater overtop!

I love gray and black because I can wear them with my skirts OR jeans, depending on how I accessorize them!

Another great option would be a simple striped top--whether it's white and navy stripes or white and black stripes. It's another shirt that can be worn casually or formally, depending on what you pair it with.

I've mentioned buying items you can wear in multiple outfits. Basically, you need to be ok with wearing the same clothes over and over again.

I tried doing just this several weeks ago. At the beginning of summer, I'd purchased several tops that just hadn't lasted. They were looking and feeling stretched and worn out. I looked through my summer tops to find the ones I consistently enjoyed wearing, and... guess what... there were two of them.

This wouldn't be possible if you didn't do laundry often (as I do), but I ended up wearing those tops every day for a couple weeks. I'd wear one, throw it in the wash, wear the other one. Then the weather started cooling off, and I could occasionally wear a long-sleeved top to throw in the mix!

Oh, and by the way... I wore them with my dark wash skinny jeans, of which I have two pairs.

You might be wondering if I got completely sick of these tops and jeans. Nope! Once you establish that you LIKE a certain shirt, I think it's easy to wear it again and again. Every time you wear it, you feel prepared and ready for the day--even if you last wore it two days earlier!

As for the boots, I had a pair of brown boots that I purchased for $15 at Gabes several years ago. Besides looking worn out, they're super uncomfortable. I wear boots "out" all the time in the winter, so that's why new boots made the short list!

Third step: figure out HOW you'll pay for these new items. If you're working with a budget, it's recommended that you decrease the amount you're spending in one area, to make up for the extra money you're spending in another area (in this case: clothes).

OR, my personal favorite way to "earn" extra cash: sell things you're not using around your house. Once you determine that you really "want" one thing, it's interesting how you prioritize what is important to "keep" around your house. Maybe I'm a rare example, but if I see something just sitting, that we haven't read/watched/touched in the last few months, I'm happy to see it go.

Several years ago, we bought the complete series of Stargate: SG1. It came in a beautiful box, and there for several months, we faithfully watched it. But since Netflix came along, and we got different interests, we hadn't watched SG1 in over a year. Which meant... it was gathering dust.

No longer. Matt and I discussed items that we'd rather have around our house (like boots), and I listed SG1 on Ebay. It sold within a week for almost $100. I found a great price on some new boots (also on Ebay), and spent a fraction of our earnings on winter boots--with plenty of money to spare.

I call this method "Sell to Buy." You take items you don't need or want, sell them, and then buy what you'd rather have with the earnings. It's a win-win: you get rid of your unwanted and unused items, and now have the money to buy wanted items you'll use all the time!

So now that you have the money in hand, the fourth and final step to creating a stylish fall wardrobe would be...

Four: Buy a few, nice items to round out your closet!

Here's what I would NOT recommend... buying a few CHEAPLY MADE items that will get pilled/worn out/stretched out in a matter of weeks. I've made that mistake a few too many times. I've even had to throw away a shirt after ONE wearing, it was so awful.

My three favorite places to buy inexpensive and yet NICE QUALITY items would be...

-TJ Maxx

-Goodwill (or local thrift shops)

When you're out shopping (even when the items are inexpensive), keep that list of "needed" items in mind, and focus on just buying those. I've had some thrift store experiences where I thought, "Oh! It's only $4! And it's cute!" So I brought it home, and wore it only a few times. You want to buy items that will fit with your style, and you'll be excited to wear it over and over!

-ThredUp

If you haven't heard of ThredUp before, it's a GREAT place to find awesome deals--good quality stuff, great prices. Once you know which brands you like, and what size you wear, and what you want to buy, you can do specific searches...

Gap, black long-sleeved shirt, size 2 or 4...

or whatever you're looking for!

My best luck with ThredUp has been with jeans. Now I know that I like American Eagle, dark wash jeans, and what size I wear, instead of buying $50 jeans in the store, I can buy the same jeans I like (gently used) for $10-15--or even less.

And while on the topic of ThredUp, if you click my link, you can earn $10 off your first AND SECOND purchases! (Once you place your order, I'll also receive $20. So it's a great deal for both of us!!)

If I could add a P.S. to number four, it would be...

Have fun with accessories. I mean bracelets, earrings, necklaces, scarves, and so on. If you're looking through clearance racks, it's easy to find some of these items for $2 (which is much cheaper than most clothing items). Accessories make it possible to wear the same shirt and skirt three weeks in a row, and no one would ever know, because you're "dressing" it up differently each time.

So there are my ideas. Happy shopping!

Why We Got Rid of [Almost All] Our Kids' Toys [and why we don't regret it]

One of the questions I hear from moms most often is, "Where do I put all this STUFF?"

Sometimes they're referring to kids' clothing, or the supplies needed when you have a baby or multiple little ones, but many times... they're referring to TOYS. Books. Puzzles. Dolls. Stuffed animals. Dress-up clothes. Trucks. Cars. Blocks.

 

 

Ok, I won't keep going. Add on to that any amount of art supplies that little kids have, and it's easy to see how moms could be so overwhelmed and frustrated!

It's easy to see that, because... I was totally there.

Now, we never had a LOT of toys, but we had enough so that messes were made easily, and I needed multiple storage containers to organize what the kids had.

When we last moved, we downsized how many toys our kids owned, and I even packed half the toys away in a storage closet to help with the scattered-messes-everywhere situation.

And yet still... This is what we were dealing with on a daily basis:

1. The kids would pull out the toy containers and dump them.

2. The toys would get kicked all over the room.

3. The kids wouldn't spend much time actually PLAYING with the TOYS.

4. If one child was playing with a toy, instead of the other children playing with ALL the OTHER toys on the floor, they would end up only fighting (and wanting to play with) that one toy (whichever one it was).

5. It would be time to clean UP the toys, and it would take a very, very long time. Every time.

It was a constant struggle to keep the toys cleaned up. What made it worse is that the kids hadn't especially enjoyed playing with them to begin with! And the fighting. Ohhh, there was a lot of fighting.

Neither Matt nor I was happy about the situation at all. Matt kept suggesting that we get rid of all the toys--or that each child could only have one. I hesitated, thinking, What would our kids play with then?

And then one morning, it happened. We'd asked the kids (like we did all the time, multiple times every day) to clean up their toys, and they hadn't, and the toys were just sitting there, un-played with, but very messy and scattered and frustrating.

I got a trash bag, and we just started filling it. All the toys that were worth selling, we set aside to sell.

You know what was the most shocking part of that moment? How happy the kids were with getting rid of their stuff. Instead of being upset, they were like, "Okay! This is cool! I'll help throw away my toys!!"

We chose to keep two sets of toys--one set of plastic blocks, and my son kept his wooden toolbox (with a few tools inside).

The next few weeks, we could not believe the change in our childrens' behavior.

There was less fighting, because there was less to fight over. There was WAY more drawing, which had hardly ever happened before. I suddenly found the kids sitting at the table with crayons and colored pencils and paper and happily drawing--for very long periods of time!

Which brings me to... they were more content to sit and play the same thing, over and over, than they'd ever been, surrounded by countless plastic and stuffed toys. Their attention spans were longer!

And lastly, they actually became very creative. That set of plastic blocks (which cost me all of $3) has turned into a castle, weaponry, phones, bridges, writing utensils, cups, roads, even a pinata.

As I'm sure you're wondering how long it takes them to clean up all their "toys" now, it's something like 2 minutes and 50 seconds, even if they're not hurrying. Except for the wooden toolbox, which is a little bigger, all their toys can fit in ONE square basket from Target.

If they want to play in their room, they take their basket to their room. It's also been seen in the living room and downstairs. But whenever they're done playing, everything goes back in the basket. And... done.

It's such a relief--all of it--that I can't ever imagine going back. But I know that as our kids grow older, they'll enjoy more games, or puzzles, and I'm sure we'll accumulate a bit more, but for now, this is perfect for us.

Now a couple additional thoughts...

Getting rid of toys (no matter how many issues they may cause) does NOT eliminate bad behavior. Believe me, the bad behavior is still there as long as there are people present! While the fights definitely lessened between the children, they still fight over other things. It's honestly kind of amazing how one child holding something can increase its desirability by an exponential amount!

Secondly, I'm not recommending this sort of action for everyone. As I mentioned at the beginning, I hear moms all the time lamenting their messy family rooms, and asking for help. This is what we did, and I'm so very glad we did, but I'm sure there are other good ways to solve the problems these moms are facing.