Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Life After Miscarriage

For anyone out there who has struggled through a miscarriage, this post is for you. My first miscarriage was early (barely 6 weeks), and afterwards, I seemed to recover quickly, and I felt very peaceful. I focused on the word "hope," and Matt and I agreed that if our next daughter was a girl, her middle name would be Hope.

When I became pregnant so quickly again afterwards, I'd say my whole 10 weeks of pregnancy were characterized by hope. I thought this new baby was sent by God to comfort me, so when I started bleeding, I was shocked. The crying I did that day (my birthday) was the worst crying I've done in my life. I've written about this before, but honestly I felt like they were tears of despair. 

As I continued to bleed, but without clots, I clung to hope for five days... until I started bleeding SO much heavier--blood pouring out of me, and I ran to the bathroom saying to Matt, "It's over, it's over, it's over."

This is one of those memories that will stick with me forever. It was so painful--both emotionally and physically.

The bleeding lasted for almost a month, much longer than the bleeding after my first miscarriage. I would tell myself, "You're strong, you can get through this..." At the same time, praying and crying, "God, why are You doing this?" 

The recovery process began once again. But nothing has been quite the same. This miscarriage took me a weak place I've never experienced before. I'd go for days without crying, and then hear a song on the radio, and cry while driving home. Or I told Matt, "I want a baby," and then I'd cry for forever, because I wanted those babies.

There's also a new fear of pregnancy that I've never felt before. And fear of blood. Blood is such a scary sight when it's associated with a tiny life inside you.

There are several truths I've been holding onto this time around that have been very encouraging, even through the emotional struggle.

God knows what is happening. God is the One who is healing my body. God is the One who will enable me to conceive again. God is One who controls whether our next baby will live or die. 

And best of all... God is my Father, and He loves me. He wants only the best for my life, whether or not I understand what He is doing all the time.


39 comments:

  1. Hi Tricia!
    Just wanted to say that I'm still praying for you and appreciate you sharing your heart!
    Take care!
    ~Hannah

    ReplyDelete
  2. This makes me cry. I think infant/baby loss is some of the most painful experiences there must be. I'm so sorry! Thank you for your honesty, and the way you run to Jesus in the middle of the pain... Much love, sweet friend.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I’m really amazed with your posting skills as well as with the layout on your blog site. Is this a paid style or did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the pleasant quality writing, it is rare to see a great site such as this one these days.I recently came to know about http://toysuae.com/, their Children Game Accessories are very effective.
    Children Game Accessories

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was diagnosed with poor ovarian reserve and very bad prognosis of having a baby with my own eggs. I was even given the option to consider donor eggs. That was around july 2014. I was absolutely devastated with the news and I arranged an IVF for November 2014 and it failed also, given that I had nothing to lose, I contacted Dr.Agbazara i meet online and he send me his herbal product,. Believe it or not... I am already pregnant within few after his help. contact him today with any kind of problem and be happy like me on ( agbazara@gmail.com )

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi there! Nice stuff, do keep me posted you post again something like this!
    pest control san antonio

    ReplyDelete
  6. Trmpi.com has a wide collection and wide range of designer boys kids wear and girls kids wear with heaps of novel colors and various options of clothing to choose from. Clothing range varies from boys t-shirts, boys shirts, girls t-shirts, girls shirts, girls dresses, boys shorts , boys denim, and much more. Visit Us - buy kids wear online .

    ReplyDelete
  7. Indeed Dr. Osose i really the best love spell caster on Earth after proving him to me by helping me to bring back my ex lover back to me with his powerful love spell. i so much believe that Dr. Osose is an expect when it comes to relationship issues he can solve any relationship maters in just 48hours. i will advice anyone out there having a broken relationship or facing any problem in your relationship to contact Dr. Osose via Ososelovespell@gmail.com or call him at +2348133194891 to help you out because he has all it takes to make you happy.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Indeed Dr. Osose is really the best love spell caster on Earth after proving him to me by helping me to bring back my ex lover back to me with his powerful love spell. i so much believe that Dr. Osose is an expect when it comes to relationship issues he can solve any relationship maters in just 48hours. i will advice anyone out there having a broken relationship or facing any problem in your relationship to contact Dr. Osose via Ososelovespell@gmail.com or call him at +2348133194891 to help you out because he has all it takes to make you happy.
    Indeed Dr. Osose i really the best love spell caster on Earth after proving him to me by helping me to bring back my ex lover back to me with his powerful love spell. i so much believe that Dr. Osose is an expect when it comes to relationship issues he can solve any relationship maters in just 48hours. i will advice anyone out there having a broken relationship or facing any problem in your relationship to contact Dr. Osose via Ososelovespell@gmail.com or call him at +2348133194891 to help you out because he has all it takes to make you happy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Indeed Dr. Osose is really the best love spell caster on Earth after proving him to me by helping me to bring back my ex lover back to me with his powerful love spell. i so much believe that Dr. Osose is an expect when it comes to relationship issues he can solve any relationship maters in just 48hours. i will advice anyone out there having a broken relationship or facing any problem in your relationship to contact Dr. Osose via Ososelovespell@gmail.com or call him at +2348133194891 to help you out because he has all it takes to make you happy.

    ReplyDelete
  10. End of lease cleaning Melbourne service is the blessing for tenants who wants to get their bond back from landlord. With the aid of right tools and state of art technologies, bond cleaners achieve immaculate and pristine look for your home. For more information and details, please visit – http://Truecleaningmelbourne.com.au !

    ReplyDelete
  11. http://www.lovee.com/ is the fun, friendly spot for style and fashion for stroller that’s and unique as you are!
    You can buy bugaboo bee canopy in affordable price for your baby !

    ReplyDelete
  12. تعتبر شركات التنظيف سواء كانت شركات متخصصة ام لاء فى الوقت الحالى من اكثر الشركات واكثرهم عددا بل وانهم يفتقدون الى المصداقية ويفتقرون الجودة فى العمل ان الزيادة الهائلة فى شركات التنظيف هذه دليل على عدم خبرة الكثير والكثير من هذه الشركات ولذا فاننا شركة صقور مكة لخدمات التنظيف الشاملة سواء كان تنظيف منزلى او تنظيف للشقق سواء كان التنظيف خاص بالسيراميك او بالرخام او بالبورسلان او باى من القطع الموجودة داخل المنزل

    شركة تنظيف بجدة

    شركة مكافحة حشرات بجدة

    شركة تنظيف بالبخار بجدة

    شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wash Basin Waste Pipes, Sanitary Band Pipe, PVC Long Band Pipe, PVC Joint Nut, Connection Pipe, Plastic Toilet Seat Cover, PVC Short Bend Pipe, Ball Cock Valve, Bathroom & Toilet Accessories/Fittings Manufacturer & Supplier.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I really appreciate your work to provide us these details.
    House Cleaning

    ReplyDelete
  15. get babyzen yoyo in half price for your baby stroller in half price by lovee.com !

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is a really cool website. Great job, the comments are really insightful
    revolving door repairs
    replacement decorative glass

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi guys,
    Thank you so much for this wonderful article really!
    If someone want to know more about the zabawki drewniane I think this is the right place for you!

    ReplyDelete
  18. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I think most people would agree with your awesome article which is specially related of Cheap Kids Toys. I am going to bookmark this web site so I can come back and read more articles. Keep up the good work!
    Cheap Kids Toys

    ReplyDelete
  20. We're presenting and provide Carpet and Sofa Cleaning Services is fine cheap professional cleaning services in Dubai and being on Carpet and Sofa Cleaning Services and abu Dhabi with low prices.
    Kitchen Duct Cleaning Company in Dubai

    ReplyDelete
  21. I read your blog I like it and I see but I'm looking for a We're presenting and prodive Cleaning Services in Dubai is fine cheap professional cleaning services in dubai uae and being on pinnacle in cleaning agencies in abu dhabi with low prices.
    Cleaning Services in Dubai

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thanks for appreciating. Really means and inspires a lot to hear from you guys.I have bookmarked it and I am looking forward to reading new articles. Keep up the good work..Believe me, This is very helpful for me.

    Back to original

    ReplyDelete
  23. Excellent incredible blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make running a blog look easy. The overall glance of your website is magnificent, let alone the content!

    Study Abroad Consultants in Chennai
    Study in Germany Consultants in Chennai
    Germany Education Consultants in Chennai

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hey Best Babyzen yoyo accessories for the best Baby strollers in your budget price by lovee.com.....

    ReplyDelete
  25. Good news for all Baby strollerss canopy/cover for baby in your budget price....by Lovee.com

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hi, thanks for this very nice and interesting post. I like your writing style, it’s quite unique. Please visit https://goo.gl/9BO8WG

    ReplyDelete
  27. Good efforts. All the best for future posts. I have bookmarked you. Well done.
    carpet cleaning Melbourne 
    Commercial Cleaning Melbourne 

    ReplyDelete
  28. Very interesting and informative blog and about the INTRO & OUTRO TEST and I must appreciate your work well done keep it up.
    INTRO & OUTRO TEST

    ReplyDelete
  29. Here i had read the content you had posted. It is much interesting so please keep update like this.

    Home Spa Services in Mumbai

    ReplyDelete
  30. I was pretty pleased to discover this great site.
    Calgary daycares

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hi admin,
    I read your blog,I really like it.which is abouot quick cash for house.
    Quick cash can easily be generated by selling your property, many sellers consistently struggle to find potential buyers but here is how you can make quick cash by selling your property.
    The sellers greatly benefit upon approaching property buyers.
    quick cash for house

    Regards,

    uzzal Mahomed

    ReplyDelete
  32. Gleem offer Higher Quality Cleaning in Bristol and Bath. Home cleaning, office cleaning and window cleaning!
    Source: Bristol Window Cleaning

    ReplyDelete
  33. TWOMC Creative Digital Agency. Contact our offices at Indonesia, Hong Kong, and Canada.
    Source: Digital Agency

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hi admin

    I really like it, I have also a blog which is related with you, which is about quick cash for house.
    quick cash for house-strapped sellers need to sell their property quickly to raise some cash but they often fail to find the right buyers.
    they are more than capable of buying your property at a premium.
    quick cash for house

    Regards,
    fahiam Mahomed

    ReplyDelete
  35. It is very difficult to find Marble Grinding Company Dubai but now it is very easy with Mumayz Cleaning as we provide Marble Grinding and polishing Services in Dubai.


    ReplyDelete
  36. Nice blog! It's an a awesome blog you have been written, Thanks for sharing itClean it company in Mecca

    ReplyDelete