Basic Rules of Etiquette for Kids [in someone else's home]

I'm finding that as a mom, I have a general idea of what I should be teaching my kids (such as "please" and "thank you"), but there are some areas that I can easily forget about. For example, I may have thought of teaching our kids to be good hosts, but I hadn't put a lot of thought into our children being good guests. The sort of guest that people would want to invite over, and definitely the kind of guest that people wouldn't dread having back.

Although these rules of etiquette are pretty basic, I thought it would be a great reminder (for myself, first of all) of something else we can be working on with our children. 

I promise I won't make the list too long. The best way to work on these things is [definitely] going to be at home, because honestly, most of these are probably characteristics you want your kids to have at home.

Hopefully then if your child is in the habit of practicing these "rules" at home, then he/she will naturally adjust these principles in a host's home. 

When your child walks up to the host's home, ring the door bell (or knock) once or twice if necessary, but not repeatedly. (ding DONG ding DONG ding DONG...)

Say hello to the host. Look at their face (instead of down at their feet), and speak clearly.

Take off their shoes, unless they're told they don't need to.

Don't be overly loud or silly. Don't run inside.

If you've been playing outside, and you're coming inside, wash your hands.

Do not open the refrigerator, touch the host's phone, or get on the computer, unless you're given permission.

Ask where the bathroom is (instead of wandering around the house), close the door, flush when you're finished, and wash your hands.

If a door is closed, knock before entering. Never enter a bedroom unless you're invited inside. If you need to use the bathroom, and the door is closed, either knock or wait quietly outside.

If you create an accidental mess (let's say they drop something, and it shatters all over the floor), they need to run and tell either their parents or the host. Accept the responsibility for what happened, and ask what they can do to help clean it up.

If you need to ask the host something, and she (or he) is involved in a conversation, stand quietly until there's a break in the conversation, and then say "Excuse me."

If the parents aren't going to be present, then tell your child that the host is in charge. Within reason, they'll be making the rules, and your child should be expected to follow them (such as at a sleepover, if the parents say "lights out and stop talking," your child should do so.

If you're offered something you wouldn't like, say "No, thank you," instead of "I don't want that" or "I don't like that." Same would apply to if someone asks if you'd like to do something that you wouldn't prefer to.

After playing with toys or a game, clean it up. To the best of your ability, put all the pieces back exactly how you found them.

At the dinner table, do not dominate the conversation. If you need something, ask politely, but otherwise, sit quietly and eat your food. Stay seated at the table unless you've asked to be excused.

Don't touch anything (especially decor, books, furniture, movies, etc.) unless you've been given specific permission to.

If you are doing something, and the host asks you to stop, don't talk back. You're in their home; be respectful of their rules.

Don't climb on the couches, or jump off the coffee tables. Don't slam the doors.

And lastly, say thank you. Say thank you for the food, for being invited over, for all the time and effort the host may have put into your time in his/her home. 

I hope that list didn't overwhelm you. I certainly didn't mean it to! Generally, I think most of principles are deep-down about respect... respecting both others' privacy, and their property/possessions. 

This topic has definitely been something I've been thinking a lot about, and I was excited to share it with you! I'm sure there are more "basic rules of etiquette" that I missed... let me know if you think of some!

Guest Post for The Gender Experts Blog!

I know, I already published a post today, but I wanted to share this as well...

Recently I was contacted by The Gender Experts, asking if I might write a guest post for their blog. Although many of their blog posts deal with gender prediction and pregnancy, they graciously allowed me to write about motherhood in general... and specifically, how I feel like four kids has been easier for me than one was!

Yes, I've written about this before, but I chose this topic to revisit, because I love encouraging young moms! And though I'm still very new at mommy-ing myself, hopefully I can pass along what I've learned so far along the way. :)

Here's what I shared over at The Gender Experts Blog:



Looking back, I don't remember anything "easy" about being a first-time mom. Everything seemed to overwhelm me--the overfull diapers, the puddles of spit-up, and especially my daily chores, which never seemed to get done.

Then when Rachel was only 3.5 months old, I conceived our second daughter. Our son came fairly soon after that, followed by another daughter. And before we knew it, we had four kids, four and under.
The transitions between kids weren't easy at first. I'd guess my hardest adjustment was probably going from 1 to 2 kids (especially because they were so close together!), and I remember crying a lot the first month after Matthias (#3) was born.

So understandably, you can see why I was a little nervous about adding a fourth baby to our already busy family! My days as a stay-at-home mom were full, just caring with three small children. How could I add a fourth child, without surrendering our house to complete chaos?

But much to my surprise (and relief), we welcomed our fourth baby with [relative] peace and calm! The tears were few, and within the first couple months, I was feeling better and more on top of my "life" than I ever had before as a mom. I felt completely comfortable taking care of four children, and I even had the time to start "officially" homeschooling my two oldest.

Happy as I was, I was also a bit shocked to realize that four kids was somehow easier for me than one had been. This of course led me to wonder: why? Shouldn't I be four-times more stressed-out and overwhelmed?

Now Caroline (our youngest) is nearing a year old, and although we have plenty of bad days, and moments where I feel like I'm drowning, I'm still convinced that this time around, life has been easier for me than it ever was before.

I'm sure you're as curious to hear the why, as I was to try to figure it out for myself! We are still growing and learning (always the goal, right?), but here's what I've come up with so far...

1. I have five years of experience in the mommy-hood world now! I don't need to be nervous about changing diapers, considering how many hundreds (thousands?) I've changed. I've tried out many different ideas (I can't tell you how many laundry methods I've tried), and found which ones work best for our family. I've made many mistakes, and hopefully learned from them!

Also, the more I've learned, the more relaxed I am about certain areas of motherhood. Breaking up fights and nap-times and changing diapers and feeding multiple kids has become less of a "big deal" and more of a every-day-all-day-long occurrence. 2. We teach our kids obedience, and strive to be consistent with this. I just mentioned above about being "relaxed" when it comes to motherhood. Having the kids obey me, though, is something I've definitely become more insistent on. Whether the kids are standing in a parking lot, or riding their bikes in our driveway (which is next to the street), they know that they need to listen to my voice and obey the first time I ask them to do something. The best way I've taught them this is with an obedience "game" where the kids are in a different part of the house, I call their names, and they yell, "Yes, Mom!!" and come running to me. If your kids know that you expect them to listen and obey, it will make your life as a mom THAT much easier.

3. The older kids are learning to help around the house! They sort and put away their own laundry, make their bed, they can load and unload the dishwasher (we use plastic dishes!), and (possibly the kids' favorite) they can operate a hand vacuum! Obviously, the floor isn't going to look as crumb-free as if I had vacuumed, and their quilt is almost always crooked on their bed, but I'm still thrilled with their efforts! And it gives them a sense of accomplishment, too. "Look what I was able to do!"

4. I don't worry about the kids needing me to entertain them: they entertain each other. Almost everything my kids do, they do together. They build blanket tents, and block castles, and they chop papers to shreds. Now that Caroline can crawl and play, too, there will often be moments that all four of them are playing together, and I'm able to work on whatever's most pressing at the time.

5. Lastly, I think motherhood has gotten easier for me, the more I embrace that this is my life. I've gotten used to the idea that it's "normal" to type and hold a baby at the same time, or breast-feed while reading to the other kids piled around me. I think once a mother realizes that there's no other task more important in her life, or more worth her time, than investing in these little people... then I think motherhood somehow becomes easier. Of course, not everything is easier with four than with one. Such as, grocery shopping--or buckling and unbuckling car seats! But while I feel like with multiple children, there is more noise, more crying, more arguments... there is also more laughter and snuggles and fun times.

I can say without a doubt that I enjoy being a mom more than I ever have before. But what would I say to the new mom, perhaps who is feeling the way I did when my first was a baby?

I wish I could give you a hug, and say that everything will be okay! Don't be afraid to make mistakes or to ask for help! If you feel like there's so much you need to learn, or you're feeling inadequate, just know... this is normal. I am sure every mom has gone through this. You have many wonderful years ahead of you as a mother! And I certainly hope for you, the same that has been true for me... that the road of motherhood will gradually get easier.

I hope you enjoyed this post! And while you're sitting at the computer (or reading on your phone :)), go check out The Gender Experts, especially if you're expecting a baby... and you're curious as to the gender! Using an ultrasound scan, they're able to predict your baby's gender as early as 6 weeks old!

Well, that's all from me for today. Have a great weekend!

Downstairs Half-bathroom Remodel

When we moved into this house, our downstairs half-bathroom was in the top-five worst-looking spots in the house.

It was covered in outdated, pink wallpaper, the floor was ripped, and the faucet + sink just. looked. bad. "Neglected" is actually a great word for this room. It didn't look like it had had any care for quite some time.

Last year, a week before Caroline was born, my mom and youngest sister stayed up very late at our house, peeling down the wallpaper and repainting the room white. The absence of the wallpaper obviously made a huge difference for the better, but the room still needed some attention.

Matt started by ripping everything OUT (toilet, vanity, medicine cabinet, and flooring). The most time-consuming part of this job was definitely removing the glue from underneath the linoleum floor. We scraped, we sanded, we poured boiling water in an attempt to loosen the glue, we did more scraping... Finally the floor was flat enough to start laying the new flooring.

Once the floor was laid, the fun began. Shopping for and buying the vanity, faucet, white hand towel, mirror, decor... that's all the "best part" for me. It's SO exciting to watch a room go from outdated and ripped-apart to new and clean and fresh!

 

 

 

 

 

One by one, we are crossing off areas of our house that need updated! Downstairs half-bath complete, we are off to the next project!

Source List

Paint: Valspar Ultra White
Vanity and faucet: Lowe's
Mirror: Walmart
Soap dispenser and hand towel: TJ Maxx
Decor: Hobby Lobby

I'm Furthering My Education

Back in the days when I'd recently graduated highschool, when I would tell people that I was not attending college, I think most of them assumed that my education was over. Sometimes I'd go on to explain that I was still learning... just not in an actual school building.

As a matter of fact, I hurried through my final highschool courses because my post-graduation goal (at the time) was to read and write for hours a day. Feminism in the United States intrigued me, and I remember standing in front of the "feminism" section of our local library, staring at the hundreds of books with that subject, and thinking, "I want to read every. single. one."

And I gave it my best attempt, too.

So no, even though I wasn't enrolled anywhere, I kept researching and writing and learning. 

Because I don't think, no matter what my age or what I'm doing in life, there's ever going to be a time when I'll want my education to be over.

Sure, when Rachel and Jemima were super little, and I was pregnant with Matthias, I was probably doing more "surviving" than "learning" every single day, but there are stages for everything, and I'm definitely entering a stage where I feel like I'm "furthering my education" more than I have for years.

There are two main reasons why this is so. The first one is probably obvious, and that is... I'm homeschooling two-going-on-three kids.

I discovered that once you start teaching your children, you realize how much you've forgotten or... how much you never knew! As soon as I started reading to the kids about figures in history, I found myself continually going, "That happened THEN? Before THAT war? She did WHAT?!"

And THEN, we discovered the documentaries on Netflix and Youtube. Often in the afternoons (when most of our "work" is done for the day), we'll sit and watch shows (or short videos) about a National Park, or animals, volcanoes, the Holocaust, ships and why they sink, the "Men Who Built America" (Vanderbilt, Rockefeller, Carnegie, etc.), the US Presidents, the Easter Island statues, and so on.  

The exciting part is that we are learning together--Mom and Kids. 

Ok, and the second reason why I've been researching and "educating myself" is... I'm a homemaker who happens to be making decisions all day long. If I want our house to run smoothly and efficiently, I'm going to need to do some research! Three easy examples here would be food, clothing, and our house. 

Planning meals, shopping for groceries, and preparing healthy and yummy foods, three times a day, for 6 people, 7 days a week, is a fairly big responsibility all by itself.

And honestly, I don't love cooking. I'm constantly searching for inspiration and trying new ideas and methods (whether it be freezer cooking, gluten-free every now and then, or whatever).  

Onto clothing. We had a couple chilly mornings and evenings last week, and I realized that I was responsible for the fall and winter wardrobes for four children. When I'm looking for clothing for the kids, I'm considering how warm it will be, if it's good quality, how stylish it is, and... how I can achieve all of that for the best prices. 

I'm not done yet, but I've already spent hours researching the best brands and looking into capsule wardrobes for the kids. I want simple, inexpensive, and yet stylish for the kids, and this takes time!  

And lastly, our house. So we bought a fixer-upper, which means that almost every room has needed some sort of renovation project. Matt's the one who does most of the heavy work, but he also has a full-time day job, which means... it's often up to me to figure out what we'll do with each room. I read tutorials and reviews and stare at before-and-after pictures and watch the Property Brothers. Since it's in the back of our mind that one day we'll sell this house (once we're done renovating it), I got very excited about home staging (for whenever the time comes), and I've watched as many videos on Youtube as I could find on how to stage your home before selling it.

I love this sort of education, because it's very pertinent to what I'm doing now in my life. I'm teaching my children science and history... and learning alongside them. I'm discovering ways to bless my household (and all who live in it), based on our needs now and what my interests are. 

What I described here is obviously going to look different for every mom out there, but I'd encourage you--even you moms of little ones!--keep reading and discovering and learning. Your education is a life-long event!

Seven Ways to Style a Striped Dress [Toddler Girl Edition]

You've all heard of the capsule wardrobe concept, right? Basically you have 10 (or however many) basic pieces that can be mixed and matched to create many awesome, creative outfits! It's such a fun idea, and--more importantly, it would help with the frustration that comes from picking out a fantastic skirt or pair of jeans, and then not knowing what top would match it!

Summer is hard on kids' clothes (with all the playing outside in the dirt!), and I knew I'd gotten rid of a few of the girls' tops as the summer went along. But, I had no idea how bad this situation had gotten until we were leaving for the afternoon, and one of the girls announced that she didn't have any tops to wear. I opened her drawer, and she must've had 10 (or more!) skirts and shorts, and not a single presentable shirt. 

With the cooler weather coming, I decided it was high time I re-did the girls' wardrobes. And because I had to buy clothes anyway, I decided to give the "capsule wardrobe" idea a try. 

I didn't go completely hard-core, but I did find around six tops, and four or five skirts or shorts that could be easily interchanged to create some cute outfits! 

I also had the idea to find one item that could be could be styled in a variety of ways, to make it appropriate for summer and fall! That's when I found this striped dress. It was exactly what I was looking for!

It's cute all by itself with sandals, or with a fun bubble necklace!

No one would guess it's the same dress, if it's tucked into a bright skirt!

Here's some fun belt action, along with mint-colored leggings...

I especially love how this dress is a perfect transitional piece between summer and fall. Layer a long-sleeved shirt and sleeveless jacket or a cardigan, and you're still looking fresh and bright but with the right amount of warmth for the cooler weather. 

I love how many fun printed leggings there are to choose from. Pair the dress with some cute leggings and BOOTS and you're definitely ready for fall!

And finally, the classic jean jacket, some gray tights, and matching accessories. This ensemble looks completely different from the first summer-y outfit, and yet at the heart of all these outfits is the same basic, striped dress! 

I hope you enjoyed these seven ways to style a striped dress! Even if you don't have a toddler girl to dress, I'm sure you could use these principles to style your own clothing. 

Happy Friday, folks!

A Tale of Two Couches

[For those of you who also read M is for Mama, I already had thought of my title before she published her latest post. And she clearly had better luck than I did... but I'm getting ahead of myself.]

I wasn't looking for couches, when I saw that set of "Brand New Gray Leather" couches, advertised on a local Yard Sale Group. 

I had so much fun re-doing our master bedroom, that I was planning to fix up our downstairs one day, too... including switching out our fabric, red-and-green couches (that are super comfortable, smell awesome, recline AND have foot rests) for something more modern--specifically gray, leather couches. 

But couches are expensive, and I had no intention of buying "new" ones any time. Until, of course, I saw this set of "brand new" couches, which looked exactly like what I'd been wanting!!

Excitedly, I began writing back and forth with the owner, only to find out that this set was NEW, never sat on, and she was selling them for one-fifth of the original price. I couldn't believe our good luck!

My plan was to sell our current couches for MORE than what we'd buy these leather couches for, and use the difference to buy some decor to fix off the downstairs' new "look." My hope was that we wouldn't spend ANY money on the downstairs remodel, or--at the most--$100.

We went to look at the couches, and I missed all the warning signs. The owner said she'd never had animals in her townhome, and when she smoked, it was always outside. I can blame the circumstances... the room was dark, I was very pumped, the lady seemed nice. Considering how much she said she'd paid for this set (and how it had NEVER been sat on!), I thought we were getting an incredible deal.

So we bought them. The second they entered our garage, though, we smelled the awful, terrible smell coming from these couches. But I was still excited. They looked great, right? 

But we couldn't get past that smell. I researched how to remove a smoke smell from leather couches, and we got to work. 

I dumped three boxes of baking soda all over those couches, mixed in some coffee grounds, and went to bed for the night.

By the next morning, I'll admit--the smell was MUCH better. I got a bucket of vinegar water and Rachel, Jemima, Matthias and I worked for several hours, wiping down every inch of those beautiful couches.

We repeated the wipe-down-the-couches process with Saddle Soap. By now, the couches were seriously smelling better... but still. Not appropriate for sitting on, hanging out, relaxing, you get the idea.

While removing the cushions, I found the original tag, and called the manufacturer of these couches.

And... Bang. These couches originally cost nothing like what the owner had claimed. These were cheap couches. 

But we figured that one out on our own, after Rachel climbed onto one of them, in her flip-flops, and nicked the fabric. Sad day.

By now, we'd concluded these couches were NOT for us. Besides the smell (which we couldn't fully get rid of), they weren't durable enough to stand the daily wear-and-tear from small children.

So I listed them for sale. But I felt I'd been deceived, and I didn't want to be anything less than fully honest with anyone. I advertised this set as (what they were): From a smoker (and possibly) pet home. 

Guess what. No one wants them. I first advertised them as the price we purchased them, and no one was remotely interested. So I lowered the price--and again, and again. It's a real possibility that we may be listing these gray leather couches as FREE, or (at best) making $100 off them--just to get them out of our garage.

Considering how I love being frugal, and how much I watch our finances, this was a blow. If I were pregnant, I would've been a crying mess. Since I'm not, I just thought about crying, and wanted to cry--and couldn't. 

On the bright side, I've learned three [very expensive] lessons from this whole process.

1. Don't buy a couch that smells bad--whatever the price. I had no idea how difficult it was to remove cigarette smoke from leather furniture, but yes, it's difficult. Hours of my life are lost in cleaning, and they still reek.

2. Even if it means you have to act awkwardly, if you're offering a wad of serious cash for couches, it's definitely worth the time and effort to sit on them and lay on them and smell them and remove the cushions and turn on all the brightest lights around to get the best look possible. And only then, if you're fully satisfied, offer your cash.

3. If you think a room of your house "needs something," it might not necessarily be the most expensive items IN that room, i.e., the couches in your family room.

And here's where I come to the happy part in this whole story. While preparing our family room for the "new look," my mom and I removed the black, broken blinds on the windows and painted the dark-colored trim white. Already, this [free] project made that wall look SO much brighter! 

After we realized we were keeping our original couches, though, our windows needed some sort of window treatment--as now the light was pouring in, and there was no privacy.

I really wanted curtains that looked modern, but still somehow matched our current couches.... and yet, were neutral enough to match any couches (whenever we would find replacement couches).

I had no idea if this was possible, until I saw these in the curtain aisle at Target...

White curtains, with a pretty gold-dotted pattern. Modern, neutral, will match couches present and future. EXACTLY what I wanted!

As soon I ironed the curtain panels, and Matt hung them, I realized these long, light-colored, pretty curtains was what this room needed. Not necessarily new couches, at least not right this minute. Why, oh why, did I not think of this before we paid for the couches?!

But without the purchase of those gray, leather couches, I wouldn't have learned these lessons. And hopefully, I won't soon forget them.

Life Lately

I haven't typed here for so long, that I'm having trouble even remembering what font I normally use.

But "usual" font or no, it was high-time for an update on the blog. 

A New Job

Our biggest news is this: after 5 years of Matt working [mostly] afternoon shift at the FBI, he has become a Property Manager here in town. What does this practically mean for him?

No more 50 minute-long commutes.
No more getting home at 2 AM.
A new job, with [of course] new challenges and opportunities!

You can imagine this has been a big transition for Matt, but it's obviously effected our whole [small] family. The biggest adjustment so far has been Matt's new schedule--leaving in the mornings (as opposed to sleeping in), coming home for lunch (I know, right?!), and then having him home in the evenings. I haven't enjoyed Matt's company (and help!) consistently in the evenings since having children. It wasn't easy in the evenings, but I had gotten used to the whole dinner/bedtime routine/several hours alone by myself before MY bedtime.

So this is very different.

I'd say our biggest struggle so far (if you could call it that) is what to do in the evenings. By the time we've put the kids to bed, we are both tired, and yet we want to use our next couple hours wisely (i.e., not watching Netflix). Because of Matt's new job requirements, we started reading How To Win Friends and Influence People, and we're really enjoying it so far. The author is so knowledgeable about both people and history, I felt 100% smarter after only reading one chapter!

House Projects

On hold for the moment. Sunday afternoon, we wrote up a list of all the specific remodeling "needs" our house has, and eventually we need to keep working through that list. Unfortunately, almost all of those remodeling projects requires $$ (example: remodel bathroom. Remodel kitchen. Replace garage door. Etc.)

There were some bushes that needed torn out, and Saturday afternoon (with the help of Kiddos 1, 2, and 3) we started cutting them down and bagging them up. Although it was ridiculously hot out, chopping up bushes still felt relaxing to me. I love working when I can see instant results--not something that often happens when you're a mom. 

[snack on the front lawn]

Homeschooling

This is something I'm very excited about. Not every single day, but in general, I'm pumped about teaching my kids. Rachel just turned 5, and she's already doing school work in two different grades. I remember this well from when I was homeschooled, and I'd stare at people confused when they asked what grade I was in. "I'm in sixth grade math, fifth grade science, seventh grade English..." 

I'm loving ABeka from what I've done with it so far. To supplement, we practice flashcards every day (numbers and letters for Jemima, addition for Rachel, US Presidents for both girls), and I just created a YouTube playlist of educational songs for them to listen through while they're coloring! (Speaking of flashcards--which I'm in love with--I found the US Presidents cards in the $1 section at Target! I've heard there are also Famous Landmarks and Space flashcards, which I'm going to be looking into buying ASAP. I guess I'm just a flashcards fan.)

[school time]

Since I wasn't able to find a history and geography textbook that I liked for the girls' age levels, I decided on simply finding and reading library books that dealt with countries or people throughout history. We've read about Helen Keller, Christopher Columbus, Joan of Arc, Daniel Boone, and Anne Frank. It's embarrassing how much basic history I'd forgotten already! I'm learning along with the girls.

[Matthias and Caroline hanging out while I work with the girls]

There's an update for now. Oh yeah, and last week, we took advantage of Chik-Fil-A's Cow Appreciation Day, and received something like $35 worth of free food! Woo-hoo!

My "Baby Essentials" List (what I use, what I don't use, and why)

Recently I've enjoyed reading through some baby "essentials" lists that are being circulated online. As I'm perusing the lists that begin, "Every mom must have..." sometimes I find myself nodding enthusiastically, and at other items, I'm staring at the screen, wondering what that contraption even IS! 

So just for fun, I thought I'd write up a list of the baby items that I've used this time around (and honestly, must have), and then I'll write a second list of the baby items I haven't used with Caroline (and what I use instead!).

My "Baby Essentials" List:

1. Diapers and wipes

I've used cloth diapers (Flip) and disposables (currently I'm loving Up & Up for Caroline, and Parents' Choice for Matthias). I buy wipes at Walmart, too.

2. Clothing.

My favorite outfit on 0-3 month babies would be a onesie + zip-up sleeper overtop (or just the sleeper, if your baby's a summer baby!). It's so easy--especially for the frequent diaper changes, many of which are during the night! I wanted Caroline to be a *little* dressed up whenever she went to church, though, so I found a bright pink tutu/skirt that she wore over her pink sleepers to church. This is definitely a change since Rachel and Jemima were newborns, though--they wore cute outfits and dresses all the time. I guess once you're on Baby #4, you realize that your little one will be wearing "clothes" soon enough!

3. Car seat.

Of course. If you're planning on taking them anywhere, this is a must-have.

4. Crib.

Babies could technically sleep on the floor, or in a drawer, or pretty much anywhere... but our babies have always slept in a crib.

5. Burp cloths

I always have one of these handy whenever I'm feeding Caroline. They can double as a nursing cover, too (more on that down below)!

6. Baby carrier.

We don't currently own a stroller, so we've made excellent use of our Baby Bjorn baby carrier! Whether you're shopping or taking the kids to the park, it's so nice to have your hands free.

7. Diaper bag.

Everyone has different "diaper bag essentials." Here's what I keep in mind: light-weight large burp cloth (for nursing), second burp cloth (for when the baby spits up), diapers, wipes, a change of clothes for the baby. Not a lot of stuff, which means it's easy to haul around!

8. Pack 'n Play

While not a necessity, our pack 'n play has been profoundly helpful. We've used it as a nice transition item from the crib to a bed, as well as carrying it with us whenever we travel.

I could go on, but those stand out as the biggest "essentials" that we've used...

Now for the "Baby Essentials" We Do NOT own:

1. Stroller.

I've heard amazing reports from moms who use strollers, so I guess I've just never found a stroller that I found extremely helpful. If we're shopping, Caroline rides in the baby carrier (or she'll sit up in the front of the cart), and the rest of the kids will walk or ride. I try to avoid taking all the kids shopping, though. I'll wait for a time when Matt can watch a couple kids, and I'll take one or two with me. The shopping trip goes by so much faster that way!

When we're in a setting where there aren't carts, Caroline is carried, and the rest of the kids walk beside us.

2. High chair.

Nope, we don't own one. We used to own a chair that clipped onto the dining table, but it didn't fit our specific needs. Caroline's still exclusively breast-feeding, and I'm not sure when we'll be transitioning her to table food. We have a booster seat that we might use, if she's sturdy enough in sit up in that. Aaaand... we might just break down and buy a high chair. Definitely possible!

3. Nursing cover.

I use a large, light-weight burp cloth. When I'm in a public setting, I normally find a private room to breast-feed in anyway, so then modesty isn't so much of a concern.

4. Changing table.

We've changed a LOT of diapers, but we've never had one of these! We normally change the kids' diapers on the floor, or on a bed.

5. Baby bath-tub.

Again, I've heard glowing reviews of baby bath-tubs, so I'm not saying I wouldn't love it if I owned one! When our babies are small, I wash them in the bathroom sink. When they're old enough to (mostly) sit up by themselves, they "graduate" to the kitchen sink. And when they're standing by themselves, we shower them (we don't have a bath tub, sadly).

6. Baby monitor.

There's always one of us close enough to Caroline's room that we could hear what she's doing. Even Matthias is quick to tell me when "Cayayine" has woken up or is crying. 

7. Nursing/feeding pillow.

As with several other of these items (stroller, nursing cover, baby monitor), I've had one, didn't feel like it was helpful, and passed it along to someone else. 

8. Musical toys/rattle/stuffed animals.

And here I present to you the joys to being the fourth-born in a family. Caroline doesn't have toys specific to her. She plays with whatever the other kids are playing with, whether it's a car, blocks, or an egg separator. The older three keep her very entertained!

While I doubt I'll ever take any items off my "baby essentials" list (I think those items are pretty basic!), there's a good chance I might being using one or two of these non-essential items somewhere down the line. I'll keep you updated!

Some Pros and Cons of Minimalism

Over the past year, I've increasingly become more of a minimalist. I'm all about "simple" living, and I feel like "living with less" goes hand in hand with that concept.

Matt tells me that when he mentions to his coworkers that he has four kids, one of their most frequent responses is how busy we must be.

Yes, of course we're busy. But when you have less STUFF sitting around in your house, fewer toys and clothes and books and everything else, there is honestly less TO DO.

But minimalistic living has pros and cons.

CONS:

If you have one mint-colored tank top (that you really like), and it gets discolored in the wash (who knows why), then... it effects *several* outfits, and not just one tank.

Your husband suggests an afternoon away at a state park, and you have to go out and buy shorts AND lace-up shoes, because you don't own any.

You sell your church shoes. Then, you must wear flip-flops to church until you buy another pair of church shoes.

You hear the incredible idea of only wearing what you LOVE. So you get rid 3 shirts, and you're left with three.

What you wear for pajamas are also staples in your during-the-day wardrobe.

You overhear a conversation between your kids and the neighbor kids...
Neighbor Kid: Do you have any dolls?
Your kid: No.
NK: Do you have any dress-up clothes?
Your kid: No.
NK: Do you have any games?
Your kid: Yes, we have a matching game.
NK: Well, what do you play?
Your kid: We play blocks. And we draw. And we play outside. Aaand... that's it.

Your husband is leaving for a business trip, and you realize he doesn't have enough nice socks to carry him for even a short trip, considering he wouldn't be doing the wash every day!


PROS:

Packing for a trip is a cinch. You open your kids' drawers, pull out their nicest clothes (leaving *not much* in their drawer), and pack it into a suitcase.

You tell your kids to clean up their toys, and they stick all their blocks in a couple boxes. BOOM. Done.

You tell your kids to clean up their books, and they grab their few books (scattered around the house) and stick them in a basket. Done.

Everything has a place--whether it's the diapers, the shoes, or the cooking utensils. There's only one or two of each item (okay, besides diapers ;)), so as long as it's returned to its proper place, it's not easily lost.

Laundry is simplified, and there's less OF it.


We aren't completely minimalistic, believe me. I love variety in accessories, for example, and so the girls have an entire BOX of hairbands and bows.

But for this season of life, living with LESS has been so helpful. There are fewer messes, which are easier to clean up... For me personally, there's less stress, too, so I can focus on doing what I enjoy!

Why Four Kids Have Been Easier than One

If I'm being honest, I don't look back on my "early motherhood" days (when I just had one or even two kids) as the most-amazing-days-ever. I remember feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, and inadequate. And believe me, it wasn't like I hadn't had any experience with kids before! I had three younger siblings, and as a teenager, I logged many hours as a babysitter.   

And yet... being a mom was different. These babies were mine, and the responsibility was great. While as a babysitter, I would watch the kids for a few hours and then leave, being a mom was full-time. 

It was hard to find time to do anything BUT watch my children. My bathroom would sometimes sit neglected for weeks, and there was almost always a pile of unfolded laundry on our guest bed. 

The transitions between children were hard, too. My hardest transition was probably from no-kids-to-one, but transitioning to two kids was hard, too. It was a little easier with Matthias (#3), but I remember crying a LOT his first month of life.

A few weeks before Caroline's due date, I started stressing out about adding a fourth. What would my already-full days look like? How do you peacefully add a fourth baby to days that aren't always calm? 

And then, she arrived. Surprisingly, I hardly cried at all. Within the first couple months, I was feeling better and more on-top of my "life" than I had ever before as a mom. I felt completely comfortable taking care of four children, and I had the time to start "officially" homeschooling Rachel and Jemima.

I was shocked to realize that four kids was somehow easier for me than one had been. This of course led me to wonder: why? Shouldn't I be four-times more stressed out and overwhelmed? 

I'm still trying to figure out the difference, but here's what I've come up with so far...

1. I have four years of experience in the mommy-hood world now! I don't need to be nervous changing diapers, considering how many hundreds (thousands?) I've changed. I've tried out many different ideas (I can't tell you how many laundry methods I've tried), and found which ones work best for our family. I've made many mistakes, and [hopefully] learned from them! 

Also, the more I've learned, the more relaxed I am about motherhood. Breaking up fights and nap-times and changing diapers and feeding multiple kids has become less of a "big deal" and more of a every-day-all-day-long occurrence. 

2. Instead of doing all the housework by myself, I have helpers! The older kids are a HUGE help to me. They sort and put away their laundry. They can load and unload the dishwasher, and set the table. They can dress themselves, and the girls are learning how to shower themselves and do their hair! Many of the tasks that I used to help them with, are now their responsibilities. The girls enjoy being independent, and I don't mind delegating! 

3. I don't worry about the kids needing me to entertain them: they entertain each other. Almost everything my kids do, they do together. As for Caroline, the kids could sit and talk to her or "play" with her for hours. They especially love when I leave Caroline in their "charge" while I do housework elsewhere. 

4. This point probably ties in somehow with #1, but I think motherhood has gotten easier for me, the more I embrace that this is my life. Of course I knew along that these children were my responsibility, but once you realize that these kids will take up your time, and that is a healthy thing... that it's "normal" to type and hold a baby at the same time, or breast-feed while reading to the three other kids piled around you... That there is really no other task more important, or more worth your time than investing in these little souls... then I think motherhood somehow becomes easier. You're not always thinking, "Well, I need to take care of the baby so I can do..." because you're used to the fact that your kids will be there at your side (or nearby) all day long, every day for a VERY long time. 

Of course, not everything is easier with four than with one. Such as, grocery shopping--or buckling and unbuckling car seats! But while I feel like with multiple children, there is more noise, more crying, more arguments... there is also more laughter and snuggles and fun times. 

I can say without a doubt that I enjoy being a mom more than I ever have before. But what would I say to the new mom, perhaps who is feeling the way I did when Rachel and Jemima were little? 

I wish I could give you a hug, and say that everything will be okay! Don't be afraid to make mistakes or to ask for help! If you feel like there's so much you need to learn, or you're feeling inadequate, just know... this is normal. I am sure every mom has gone through this. You have many wonderful years ahead of you in which to learn and grow.

Enjoy your family time this weekend!