Why I Write Mothering "Advice" When I Haven't Figured it Out Myself Yet

There's a question I've been pondering recently, and that is: Why am I giving out advice, or writing "tips for busy moms," when I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing?

Because, seriously... My house isn't always stress-free. My laundry isn't always folded-and-put-away by lunch time. And I definitely do not always manage my time well.

I know you're all shocked.



Well... I don't have a perfect answer to this question, but I have a few thoughts.

First, I was very blessed to be raised by a mother who was hard-working, kind, and pretty much the queen of organization. My whole childhood, she was teaching me what she knew, and what she was good at--and what she had learned from her mother. So much of what I talk about here, I was raised with.

And secondly, I'm involved in several mommy-groups, and I listen to these ladies talk about being a mother, and raising their children, and keeping their home. Many of these young moms were not blessed to be raised in homes like mine, and I'm constantly hearing, "My house is a mess! HELP!" or "My kids won't stop screaming! What should I do?"

Then, there are "Once you are a mom" lines.

"You might be able to take a hot, interrupted shower now, but once you're a mom..."

"Maybe you can keep your floors clean now, but once you're a mom..."

"You like when the house is quiet? Ha! Enjoy it now, because once you're a mom..."

Whenever I hear either the honest cries for help, or the once-you're-a-mom assumptions, I always feel like raising my hand, and saying, "I have ideas!!"

Call me crazy, ladies, but I don't think your house has to be loud. Your house doesn't have to be messy. You can enjoy a hot shower every single morning, if you wish! Whether you have no kids, or 10 kids.

I'm learning, and I'm seeking to learn more. I don't want to accept the stereotypes of what a house with small children should look like.

I'd even dare to suggest, that [most days] you can have a clean house... with kids.